CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
