summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
