The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
My vagina just recognized that song.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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