The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
