If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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