so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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