I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize