All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
