Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Randomize
