if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
