I think I died a long time ago.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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