All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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