these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
