Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
