I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
