It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
My bed smells like the plague
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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