singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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