this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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