I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
My pussy is not your playground.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
