its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
