my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
