I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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