Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
