She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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