I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
