oh god the rape fog is back!
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
