I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
