He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
