if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
He shit in the fireplace
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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