i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
