She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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