SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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