this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
only if we run a train.
done.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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