if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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