Define "chronic" masturbator.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
either way he was missing a nipple.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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