What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize