Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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