just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
