We need to rekindle our bromance
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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