I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
