we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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