is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
