exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
