i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
