Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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