I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
