No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
