im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
