we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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