I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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