just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize