high people should be assigned attendants
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
