Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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