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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.

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• (406): View more from Montana

  I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.

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• (912): View more from Georgia

  He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.

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• (516): View more from New York

  She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to

  (425): View more from Washington

  She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time

  (1-973): View more from New Jersey

  you DO IT for the people

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  Pants are for mortals

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?

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