So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize