but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
