I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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