i was born a porn star she said
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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