I am in a vortex of obligation.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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