when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
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